Special offers

 

arrow

 

- Manager, why did you call us beyond the working hours?

- So I call you to show the new promotion of SuperPeople Supermarkets. The name says it all!

- Well, but why this show in grand style?

- Yours is a smart question, Lady Poffin. Well… this will be a special promotion.

- Yeah... by the way, how is this promotion called?

- Well, another smart question, Dello Straccio. Bravo!

- And so?

- Hold on to your hats. The name is Be bop!

- Be bop?

- Yes, Canapone. Isn't it fantastic?

- Well...

- I see doubts...

- No, no, Manager, good morning thanks and sorry. What doubts… it's really a good name for a promotion, though, good morning and sorry.

- Oh, Thank God you, Chicca, can look beyond...

- Thank you very much, Manager.

- You're welcome, Chicca.

- Sorry, manager.

- Nothing Chicca.

- And good morning.

- And thank you, Chicca!

- You're welcome, Manager...

- Stop, Chicca… but there's also a musical spot you'll have to learn!

- No, Manager, not the spot...

- Yes, Canapone, the spot is...

- And what would be the spot?

- The spot is this: be bop, who marvels our discounts; be bop, you will not believe yet it's true! What do you think about it?

- Eh…

- Ah…

- I still see doubts… maybe you didn't listen to it with careful. Do you want I sing it for you again?

- No, Manager, it's beautiful!

- Oh, thank you, Chicca, if you weren't here...

- Thank you very much, Manager.

- You're welcome, Chicca.

- And good morning, Manager.

- Good morning to you, Chicca. But it's not over...

- Ah...

- Eh...

- Yes, there are also our wonderful slogans!

- For example?

- For example, dear Dello Straccio, I'll declaim you all verse of the slogan for cosmetics!

- Wow for cosmetics, Manager, thank you very much!

- You're Welcome, Chicca.

- Good morning, Manager.

- Good morning, Chicca. So, do I read?

- Yes Manager...

- Thank you, Chicca...

- Thanks to you, Manager...

- So:

Be Bop to Beauty:

the whole cosmetic line for the care of your body!

Ask Be Bop points for the contest!

A Be Bop trick on your face to make you more fascinating into your him eyes!

Come to our Be Bop stores!

- But it's wonderful, Manager!

- And it's not over!

- Oh...

- Ah...

- Eh...

- Uh...

- Ih...

- Yup! Think the SuperPeople supermarket chain, to make you feel more affiliated with the company, decided each of you will adopt the business suffix "super" in front of your last name. Happy?

- Ah...

- Eh...

- Oh...

- Uh...

- Ih...

- Meaning what, Manager? Can you explain it better?

- Of course, Miss Capovolta. So:

you will be SuperCapovolta;

Canapone will be SuperCanapone;

Chicca will be SuperChicca;

Pinocchia will be SuperPinocchia;

Ciccio dello Straccio will be SuperCiccio;

Lady Poffin will be SuperPoffin;

Vacca will be SuperVacca.

What is it, Vacca, why raise your hand like a school?

- Manager, I don't like SuperVacca.

- Why doesn't it like you? Vacca, are you crazy? But it's beautiful...

- No, I… to me… huh? It doesn't convince me...

- Eh, it doesn't convince you… by now, Vacca, it's decided. After all, it's not anyone's fault if your last name is Vacca!

- Well, but it's not my fault too.

- Yet, I have the right solution for you, Vacca.

- By which you mean?

- I will call you VaccaSuper!

- Oh Yeah, VaccaSuper seems better than SuperVacca!

- Do you see Vacca? In Supermarkets SuperPeople, we also sell solutions!

- Eh… thank you Manager. Indeed, I really feel VaccaSuper!

 

 

THE POST OF SUPERCASHIERS

  1. Introduction
  2. The queue
  3. Aggression
  4. Horoscope
  5. Selection
  6. Adverbs
  7. Pronunciation
  8. Family
  9. Obsessions
  10. Robbery
  11. Agreements
  12. Meditation
  13. Fashion
  14. Formalities
  15. Prank call
  16. Problems of consciousness
  17. Clarifications
  18. Pause
  19. Special offers
  20. Something in common
  21. Jealousy
  22. Saturn
  23. Illness

 


DEAR CUSTOMER ON AMAZON


Why is a nickname more indicative compared to our name? Personal details are the result of the choice of others. Sooner or later, when we enter the world of work, those letters will become numbers. On the other hand, a nickname is linked to a really happened event or to a personal trait. In a manner of speaking, it reveals our true identity.
In consumer society, where all echoes are adulterated - Karl Marx is the man of chocolate with the caramel layer and Che Guevara has killed Spider-Man - identity becomes a main topic. Keeping it and being involved as little as possible by the obsession with buying, is a primary matter.
Leopoldo Canapone, protagonist of Dear Customer, every day witnesses the procession of customers infatuated by the commercials and promotional offers. He also knoews a lot about nicknames and, above all, he had an identity. Aspiring actor, he was sure in the end he would enter the Cinecitt‡ Studios. He wrong a few hundred meters. Years later, he stamped the card in the supermarket near to the film establishments, but after all, also it was art because, as a sales clerk, he had to wear a mask and smile to the audience.


The customer is a fucked customer and not a fucking customer.


Leopoldo Canapone