Letters from the Johnny’s pub - Jagger



034-mick-jagger-theredlist




Bad feelings. I talked too much and when you expos, you're vulnerable. I designed this place for not having trouble. Negative vibrations are diseases that should be nipped in the bud to avoid proliferation: some influences take possession of your mind and this paralyses your body leaving you at the mercy of a threat that is only virtual. The succession of your acts, influenced by that state of tension, is such that those feared things actually happen in the end. Or, much simpler, I smoked too much and the alfalfa was not exactly free of hallucinogenic substances...

 

– Hello Sir.

– May I introduce myself?

– Oh, there's no need...

– I'm a polished man...

– I know well…

– Ok Johnny. Do you like playing with darkness?

– Oh no, I would never dare...

– And yet you did it, Johnny...

– Me? Never, I can swear...

– No, Johnny, don’t swear...

– If you're referring to the meeting with Mr. Richards...

– Keith is my brother, Johnny...

– Well, of course, I know...

– Oh, play with my fame, Johnny, what a misery: after what I did for you...

– Please: what have you done for me?

– I sing for you too, Johnny...

– Oh, well... this seems a bit speculative...

– Johnny, Johnny... how could you do that?

– Well, there must have been a misunderstanding, and yet, I apologize anyway...

– Johnny: don’t be so complaisant...

– I’m duly sorry...

– Look at me Johnny: straight in the eye!

– Oh... oh... uh... ooooo... uuuuh... uah... oh yeah...

– Do you like it, Johnny?

– Oh... Uh...

– Ok, Johnny. You see it? I'm taking advantage of you.

– Oh... oh... by Jove!

– You had your first lesson.

– Which lesson are you talking about?

– An intercourse starts from the head, Johnny.

– Uh... oh...

– Another bit, Johnny?

– Oh...

– No. That’s all. So you learn.

– Oh...

– Second lesson: I always decide, how and when; and how much. Ok?

– Ok.

– Do not forget.

– All right.

– Set up a table and bring me food, Johnny. I'm hungry bastard!

– Do you want to drink too?

– What do you think?

– Red ale?

– Red ale is fine... oh, what kind of place have I come to here?

 

I set the table up and serve him myself. He seems disappointed.

 

– Anyway, I want you to know, that I never played with your fame...

– Uh, no?

– No!

– And what did you say to Mr. Cheeta?

– What a son of a bitch! It was him who said you took his way of dancing...

– Good Johnny. Watch me.

 

He climbs on the ceiling beams like a real monkey, does all his monkey moves, takes a fake banana from the plastic fruit basket and then throws it at my face, claps his hands like a monkey, and then mumbles (and also sings) like a monkey. Finally it freezes. He stares into my eyes.

 

– Have you seen, Johnny? Do I look like a monkey?

– No!

– That's right, Johnny.

– In fact, in my opinion, it is the monkey who copied your way of dancing...

– Sure, Johnny. It's like that.

– Sure. No doubt about this.

– Good Johnny. You had your third lesson.

– Oh…what?

– It is the power of persuasion.

– What is that?

– Oh, let it be. Be a good boy and let me eat...

– All right.

– Hey, Johnny...

– Yes…

– You should stop smoking that junk... you smell like a mess!

– I'm sorry…

– I would appreciate some decency, when they serve me food…


THE POSTS FROM THE JOHNNY’S PUB


 

© ENRICO MATTIOLI 2018 




© Enrico Mattioli 2018