Letters from the Johnny’s pub - Cheeta



cheeta



I have many things, but they are all imaginary. If the city is a jungle, this pub is an oasis. After all, we are all like pets. Why pets? Because we just adapted to the place in which we were, if we really lived in a jungle, we would get used to the tribal rituals. And to jungle’s times.

Rock and roll is the sound of the jungle, but it reflects big cities too. The metropolis and the jungle are different and the same, rock captures both souls. If Tarzan had lived in the city, with his wild screams he would have been the front man of a rock band.

 

– Hello Friend.

– I'm sorry: monkeys can’t stay in this place.

– Do I look like a monkey?

– Well... yes…

– No, man, I'm the father of rock and roll...

– Oh... you know how many monkeys think they’re the father of rock and roll?

– I not “think I am”, I “am” its father...

– Oh, of course... well, what can I do for you?

– I want a beer…

– I can’t give you a beer...

– And why?

– Monkeys don’t drink beer...

– And who do you think you are to decide what others drink?

– I'm Johnny B. Boogie and I manage this place.

– Johnny B. Boogie... it has a nice rock and roll sound, good!

– Thank you.

– Listen, B. Boogie: who taught Mick Jagger the dance?

– Don’t tell me it was you...

– Oh yeah!

– Well, Jagger, really dances just like a monkey!

– Sure. Ah, but don’t think it's easy...

– What: to teach Mick Jagger to dance?

– No... to dance like a monkey!

– You say?

– Well, Jagger is really good...

– Yes, he gets by...

– Have you ever been in the jungle, B. Boogie?

– Well, I... no, I don’t understand much about jungle... the only jungle I've seen is the one of Tarzan...

– Yeah, Tarzan... don’t let me start on that...

– Ok.

– No, but I can tell you...

– What?

– No, better not!

– As you want…

– Actually, I want to tell you...

– Let’s see…

– Jane...

– So?

– Her and me, I mean... you understand, right?

– Oh, that’s good...

– It's the truth...

– Mah...

– I’m telling you it’s true! She never had enough... in the end, I had to stop it...

– Really?

– Yes and then…

– And then?

– I was a close friend of Tarzan...

– Yeah, such a great friend that you take advantage of her woman...

– Well, what can I say, when it breaks out, passion becomes an uncontainable feeling!

– Sure.

– In addition, you could perceive the affair from de TV, so when he was jumping through the lianas to go into the jungle leaving us alone, the audience began to giggle...

– Seriously?

– I’m telling you: don’t say you never noticed it!

– Now that you mention, yes, I think you could perceive the affair...

– Of course you perceived it...

– Uh, what can I say? It's life…

– Hey, B. Boogie...

– What's up?

– Would you buy me a beer?

– Why should I buy you a beer?

– We are friends, I could... offer you protection... you know, sometimes unpleasant things happen, when one is without protection...

– Are you threatening me on the sly?

– No... no threat... I'm just warning you, B. Boogie...

– Oh, thanks…

– And where you at with licences and stuff?

– Which licence?

– The licence for the pub...

– All set, no problem.

– I... I'd like to propose a deal.

– What deal?

– Would you like to become the exclusive retailer of a new product?

– What product?

– Alfalfa.

– What?

– It's a plant that grows back home...

– You want to sell that stuff in my pub? I would get in trouble sooner than now!

– No. You just have to use caution: no names. No Maria or Marianna, only alfalfa.

– You are crazy…

– It's all perfectly legal... it is a plant deprived of its hallucinogenic properties that only offers a relaxing effect...

– Really?

– I’ telling you, it is like an infusion, only that instead of drinking it, you smoke it.

– Well, if you make sure it's legal...

– Of course, my friend, I have a little taste with me... try...

– Yes, after all even cats use catnip, right?

– Yes, friend, no problem, you'll thank me, you'll see…


THE POSTS FROM THE JOHNNY’S PUB


 

© ENRICO MATTIOLI 2018 



© Enrico Mattioli 2018